What does it mean to stand in a role? In a systemic or family constellation you may be asked, or feel called, to stand in a role for someone or something. You offer your body to another energy for a limited time. You stay present, you stay in control, and you can end the role at any moment. You simply make a little space.
How do we do it? Taking a role comes with the decision. "I will now stand for dolphin milk." "I will now stand for the grandfather of this client." Spoken inwardly or aloud, the intention is what invites the role to come.
What do we look for? Does the body feel different than before? Sensations in the legs, arms or stomach. Emotions that arrive with the role. Thoughts that come. And, in the group, who is there and how do we relate to them: attraction, distance, a sentence that wants to be spoken. Standing in a role connects us to what constellation work calls the Knowing Field. To Rotger’s experience, every human can do this. In the shamanic tradition it is called becoming a Hollow Bone.
Don’t worry about getting it wrong. Roles are robust. If a representative is exchanged, the new one commonly experiences the same things. If you feel nothing, that usually belongs to the role too. If you are unsure whether something belongs, just wait: what belongs will reappear, and when the same sentence comes for the third time you may speak it into the field. What does not belong simply will not take hold. Don’t play the role, let the role play you. Constellation work is not role-play; we let the roles lead us.
Returning to yourself. When the constellation is finished you take your body back, simply by saying inwardly: "I now am myself again." Some facilitators add a small ritual, patting the legs or speaking your name three times, but in the end it is the decision that ends a role.
If something touches you deeply. Sometimes a role resembles our own story and stays with us. That is not a bad thing; we learn about our stories through other people’s stories. If it is still with you a day or two later, come to Rotger. Taking care of that belongs to his responsibility as a facilitator, and it is always free of charge.
Rotger Heilmeier and Antonia Stessl-Heilmeier, Systemic Constellations Training, Foundational Principles. shifting-worlds.org
